By Dr. Marie Gould Harper
Program Director, Management

John had a great idea for a business. As he developed his plan and presented it to financing gurus, he received much support and praise to the point where everyone wanted to fund his endeavor.

John made arrangements to secure property and hire employees for his business. After four years, however, other organizations popped up in the same market. At the same time, John couldn’t keep up with his customers’ demands.

The new competitors were able to hire his top talent, and his customer service went downhill. In frustration, John decided to sell his business.

Five years later, John was approached by a friend who asked John to join him in a new venture. However, John refused and shouted, “No way! I’ve been burnt before, and I don’t want to feel that type of pain ever again!”

This scenario may not be your story. However, can you think of a time in your life when the outcome of an endeavor was painful? Maybe it resulted in the kind of pain that you do not care to experience ever again.

We know the old saw, “Once bitten, twice shy.” It suggests that when you have had an unpleasant experience, you need to be cautious in the future because you don’t want to make the same mistake again.

BUT…is it possible that you can miss an opportunity for real success if you become too rigid and cautious?

Your Response to Success or Failure May Be Based on Your Outlook on Life

How do you see the activities that you participate in on a daily basis? Do you perform small tasks that will eventually lead to something big? Are you wandering through life, aimlessly performing activities that are irrelevant and just filling up time during the day? Do you still dream in spite of having failed?

If you are one of those individuals afraid of failing again, I strongly recommend that you get up, dust yourself off and get back on the horse. One of my favorite songs is gospel singer Donnie McClurkin’s “We Fall Down”:

We fall down, But we get up
We fall down, But we get up
We fall down, But we get up
For a saint is just a sinner who fell down,
But we couldn’t stay there, And got up.

The lyrics are words of encouragement for someone who may be struggling to get over past failures.

In addition, someone else in need of help could be waiting for you to “ride” again. Your breakthrough can be the catalyst for that person to take the next steps forward.

But if you remain frozen with fear and frustration, he or she may never have the opportunity to experience a dream. People need people to inspire them to cross the finish line.

All of Us Are Interconnected and We Can Help Each Other Heal

There’s more than one way to start the healing process. If you are concerned about personally sharing your most profound thoughts with someone you know, consider your social media connections to get the conversation started.

The well-known six degrees of separation theory is a rule for our interconnected, globalized age. It means that we are all connected to each other through, at most, six rounds of introductions.

Social media has reduced that to four degrees. What’s even more exciting about the “four degrees of separation” is that they include people who are in rare or very specialized professions.

Those people might have a more tight-knit or smaller network. If you work in a universal profession, like teaching or medicine, the degrees of connectedness between you and everyone else is probably even less – an average of 3.2.

If social media networks are used correctly, they can provide us with a sounding board. We can pose questions to get a massive number of comments. Responses can come from our direct connections as well as from people to whom they are connected.

We can even subscribe to groups if we are interested in hearing from people who specialize in a particular field. We have sources of research that we can use to answer the question “Why did we fail?”

Defining Failure: Is the Glass Half Empty or Half Full?

Failure is defined by how you look at the situation. “Few of our own failures are fatal,” economist and Financial Times columnist Tim Harford writes in his new book, Adapt: Why Success Always Starts with Failure.

According to Harford, “Success comes through rapidly fixing our mistakes, rather than getting things right the first time.” To prove his point, Harford cites compelling examples of innovation by trial-and-error from a variety of visionaries.

New York startup consultant Sarah Rapp interviewed Harford and developed a list of key takeaways on the psychology of failure and adaptation that combines insights from their conversation and from his book. There is a right way and a wrong way to react to failure.

The Wrong Way to React to Failure

When it comes to failing, our egos are our own worst enemies. As soon as things start going wrong, our defense mechanisms kick in, tempting us to do what we can to save face.

These very normal reactions — denial, chasing your losses, and hedonic editing (using multiple events to maximize positive outcomes) — wreak havoc on our ability to adapt.

The Right Way to React to Failure

At the crux of Harford’s book is the conviction that in a complex world, we must use an adaptive, experimental approach to succeed. Harford says, “the more complex and elusive our problems are, the more effective trial and error becomes.”

We can’t predict whether our “great idea” will sink or swim once it’s out there. Harford outlines three principles for failing productively:

• You have to cast a wide net.
• Practice failing in a safe space.
• Be primed to let go of your idea if you’ve missed the mark.

As we travel through life, we should remember that “all things can work together for our good.” A failure can be a learning lesson for achieving something more significant later in life. Until we get there, let’s keep practicing to get it right.

About the Author

Dr. Marie Gould Harper is the Program Director of Management. She holds an undergraduate degree in psychology from Wellesley College, a master’s degree in instructional systems from Pennsylvania State University and a doctorate in business from Capella University. She is a progressive coach, facilitator, writer, strategist and human resources/organizational development professional with more than 30 years of leadership, project management, and administrative experience. Dr. Gould Harper has worked in both corporate and academic environments.

Dr. Gould Harper is an innovative thinker and strong leader, manifesting people skills, a methodical approach to problems, organizational vision and ability to inspire followers. She is committed to continuous improvement in organizational effectiveness and human capital development, customer service and the development of future leaders.